It Takes Two

My son and his wife have separated after being married for over ten years. I was so pissed at his wife for breaking the marriage up that I stopped communicating with her and her family. After all, we had worked our butts off building a dream home on four acres of beautiful land together as a family. Somehow we finished it on weekends and holidays after a whole year and the house is magnificent. They moved in and seemed the perfect couple.




Times were good and everyone was happy – or so I thought. My wife, who has stayed in contact with her daughter-in-law, reported how happy she is in her new house and life. In fact, I also noticed how happy our son seems now in his hew life. There were no children except their beloved dogs, which the separated couple worked out a shared custody plan that is working well for everyone.




I now admit that both parties are very happy in their new roles as singles. Could it be that they just weren’t happy together as a married couple? Seems so, and now I miss my soon-to-be-ex-daughter-in-law. I just saw the pain in my son’s eyes, not the pain that was also in her eyes. They did the right thing by separating and no one is to blame, except me for shutting out my daughter-in-law.




Well, there is something I can do about that. I will go to her with hat in hand and ask for forgiveness. If she rejects me…so be it, but at least I tried. I know, I will ask to be friends again on Facebook.




If she refuses, at least she won’t see me cry.

I’m just saying,

Mittster

JOE vs. JOSE

Is this a problem? You decide.

“You have two families: "Joe Legal" and "Jose Illegal".




Both families have two parents, two children, and live in California...

Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted.




Jose Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash "under the table".




Ready? Now pay attention...

Joe Legal: $25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00 per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Joe Legal now has
$31,231.00.

Jose Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.0 0 per year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Jose Illegal now has
$31,200.00.




Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $24,031.00.

Jose Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.




Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $18,031.00.

Jose Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps and welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.




Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $9,631 .00.




Jose Illegal receives a $500.00 per month federal rent subsidy. Jose Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $ 31,200.00.




Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for insurance. Joe Legal now has $7,231.00.

Jose Illegal says, "We don't need no stinkin' insurance!" and still has $31,200.00.




Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc.

Jose Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month.




Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work.

Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.




Joe Legal's and Jose Illegal's children both attend the same school. Joe Legal pays for his children's lunches while Jose Illegal's children get a government sponsored lunch. Jose Illegal's children have an after school ESL program. Joe Legal's children go home.

Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Joe paid for them and Jose did not pay...

Do you get it, now?”

Open Letters

These letters were not proofed or edited - they are from the heart.

Dearest Mitt,

I got a call from Laura yesterday and she told me about Walt. I called him after we got off the phone. I did not know you had emailed me because I'm such a baby about being on a computer that's not mine. Well, time to get over myself. I may even join Facebook cause people/family are contacting me.

Walt didn't seem to want to talk about it much so we talked about kids and unwanted drama.

I guess I am still in some shock. I don't know what to do except be with him when ever I can. My heart goes out to you Baw. I am stumbling around here trying to think of what to say and not doing to good. I love you Baw. I love you both no matter where our pasts have taken us.

Lord, I really miss Mom right now.

I will be checking my email at least 4 times a week when I'm at work until I can get something else set up so I have more access.

All My Love,

Sis

Sis,

Walt defiantly does not want to talk about his situation...remind you of someone we knew who passed from Melanoma? Right now he is in the present trying to deal with chemo and it's side effects. He is way passed removal or radiation. Walt and I are going to ride to Durango for Labor day. I am hoping the high country of Colorado will lift his spirits and perform magic.

My response has been to write blogs about why men should get a prostate exam once a year. Hell, mine was removed in 2000 and I still get a yearly check up for PSA. I ragged on your brother many times to get his checked, but, alas, he did it his way. He even lied to me and said he had the exam and that everything was OK. I knew he was not getting check ups, but what can you do? It's his life and I can't live it for him.

I have researched his type of cancer over and over and all I can say is that Prostate cancer is not curable. He will be taking a new and powerful drug that Medicare will pay for. The mean extended life span is four months. Can you believe the drug costs $73,000 for three shots? All that for a lousy four months! Walt goes in for another blood test next week to see if his PSA (a specific prostate enzyme)is lower. The optimum level is .04 - mine was 7.5 when it was removed and it took radiation to get it to .01. Walt's was 180 when he finally got it checked. It then rose to 240 in just a few weeks proving he had a very aggressive cancer. All ten biopsies were positive and the race was on to extend his life. We are now hoping his PSA has lowered with chemo treatments.

With all that said so that you know what he is dealing with, it is no wonder he doesn't want to talk about it. At first Walt didn't even want to tell his children. After much discussion, I finally got through to him how wrong that would have been. He called everyone and let them know what is going on...the watered down version. He asked me to contact you, which I did via e-mail. I guess I should have called you, but at the time all I would do is break down crying. I felt I should have done more to make sure he got a checkup. Of course that is nonsense, we both have always been independent and done everything the hard way.

There you have it, Sis.... There is nothing more I can say. The whole thing is left up to medical science and personal belief systems about God. I read everything I could about Dennis Hopper's death from Prostate cancer and came to the conclusion that Walt surely is going to leave us. I plan to call him everyday and be with him when I can. I just started two construction jobs in Sedona and the contractor is from Hawaii. My weeks are full because he depends on me totally. Last weekend I drove to Quartzsite to service our motor home and water trees, then straight to Walt's house for a visit, then back home to start Monday's new job. 800 miles later I felt like a Mac truck ran me down. God, getting old sucks!!

I hope all is well in your corner of the world....

Love,

Mittster (Baw)

The Prodigal Son Returns

My son Jon is attending a tattoo convention this next weekend in Mesa, Arizona. He works at a shop in San Luis Obispo, California. His stepmother and I haven’t seen him since he repaired a sun tat on my wife’s arm many years ago. He turned a not-so-good looking sun into a brilliant one which Sandy loves.

Thanks to technology, we are in contact on Facebook with both of my sons in California. I’m not real sure what Kippy does, but he seems to be in the financial world of stocks and bonds. It’s the same place where Sandy and I lost a whole boat load of money thanks to greed and corruption, but that is another blog. Someday soon I hope to see Kippy again too.

One of the horrible things about divorce is separation and estrangement from children. I am lucky to have two sons who are not bitter and live extraordinary lives. I am proud of both because they have become such wonderful human beings and live life to the fullest.

Of course I was hoping someday Jon could give his old dad a tat, but, alas, my tattoo days are over. I damn near bled to death during the last sleeve of a dragon. When I got home from the first session, poor wifey thought I had been in a car wreck! Three sessions later I knew it would be my last.

I’m just saying,

Mittster

It Takes Brass Balls

After it was determined that my brother Walt had stage four prostate cancer, the whole family kind of went into shell shock. After all, we both had decided at a young age that we were going to live forever. At least that is the way we lived most of our lives. “Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes!” Now we have a reality check and, man, does it smart – damn, we are not going to live forever.

After Walt learned that the prostate could not be surgically removed and that it was too late for radiation, his only choice was chemo and a new drug on the market that can extend his life for months – maybe. So bro started chemo and now is beginning to feel some side effects…like wanting to puke and bones so brittle he dare not stub his toe.

His answer to this dilemma was short and sweet; let’s ride our motorcycles to Durango,Colorado, over Labor Day weekend. So be it. I booked the motel and the trip is a go. It happens to be a grueling ride though the Navajo Reservation and not for the weak of heart, and to make the trip even more interesting, we have three newbie’s riding with us.

It’s not the first time Walt and I have led newbie bike riders across the Res and into the high country of the Colorado Rockies, and I am praying it won’t be our last. Maybe the spiritual benefits of riding such majestic peaks and valleys will have a healing effect on my brother.

Oh, by the way – have I told you how much I love my twin? Words could never describe….

Write on,

Mittster