Writer's Cramp

Yes, it’s true…I have writer’s cramp. Dirty words to be sure, but true nonetheless. I am so embarrassed to admit this condition on the Internet, but someone needs to stand up and be counted for the hundreds, if not thousands, of newbie writers out there who have this affliction but are afraid to come out of the closet. I have tried everything I can think of to remedy this situation, including soaking my hands in hot water and Epsom salt and me in vodka, but nothing seems to work.




I have tried therapy, but alas, no one in the group has writer’s cramp anymore. Instead, they have all become alcoholics from vodka – so why should I listen to them.




Besides, even though the group therapist is not hooked on vodka, she is not even a novelist. How could she know the shame of writer’s cramp?




As I look back on my writing experiences and the colossal challenge of writing and publishing two murder mysteries, it becomes apparent that writer’s cramp syndrome did not affect me until after I started trying to market my books on Facebook, Twitter, Websites, Amazon and God only knows how many other Internet sites designed to sell books. One bright side of not being able to use my hands is that I am not pulling what’s left of my hair out due to poor book sales!

While sitting here poking the keys on the keyboard with pencils taped between each claw hand in an effort to get my message of despair out to the handful of readers who might stumble on my blog, it behooves me to remember that readers are easily turned off by sniffling, pathetic, wannabe writers who can’t handle rejection.




Oh, what’s the use – wait a minute, I am receiving an e-mail from an author friend who claims to have cured her writer’s cramp. Can it be true? Is there a chance for me? OMG, I have finally found the cure as suggested by novelist Eri Nelson in her e-mail. She has lost her Internet connection now for over a week and her writer’s cramp has disappeared. Excuse me while I take a hammer to my modem and router. By the time I am able to replace the hardware and reboot my computer, I too shall be cured of writer’s cramps. Glory be and thank you, Eri….

Write on? Not!

Mittster

Well, Tweet My Twitter!

As the title implies, I love talking dirty to myself. In reality though, I thought I would write a few comments about Twitter and how it has impacted my Web Life. Yes, I said, Web Life. You know, the place everyone reading this blog lives to the chagrin of everyone else who lives in boring reality.

As suggested by my publisher, my book promotions are centered around three Websites: Twitter, Facebook and a Website dedicated to my books. Facebook is certainly the most fun, whereas the Website is just a showcase. Twitter is mostly serious, which took some getting used to. Nothing much funny going on there - just people trying to be noticed by somebody who is somebody. In Twitterland, the nobodies prevail, but occasionally somebody will surface who has thousands and thousands of followers. I am trying to be one of those people.

I Tweet my Blog on Twitter everyday (there I go getting dirty again. Sorry!), and I have about 600 or so followers - mostly writers, publishers and an assortment of weirdos like myself. The trick is to get people interested in what you have to offer. I obviously haven't learned the trick yet, but if I am one thing, it's persistent! In theory, the harder you try at something, the better chance you have of succeeding. The reality may be different, but I keep moving forward no matter the weight on my shoulders.




Also, in theory, Twitter can connect you with the elite and powerful. My problem is that I wouldn't know what to say if or when I did meet them. Well, that's not quite accurate; I did have a short connection with Anne Rice, but she didn't offer to introduce me to her publisher. Perhaps she tired of my platitudes and idol worship. After all, she is my favorite author.

After the holidays are over, I plan to have a video made and submit it to YouTube featuring my books Evil in the Mirror and Day Stalker. I look at it this way - why not make my Web experience even more exciting by having four places to live!

I'm just saying,

Mittster