Thar she blows!

I have received some e-mails indicating my recent blogs have been crude and in bad taste concerning naked Paul Winer, owner of Reader’s Oasis Book Store in Quartzsite, Arizona. Therefore, even though Paul has been the perfect host for this year’s Author Fair and allowed us to sell our books at his store absolutely free of charge, I now denounce my association with naked Paul.

Instead, I plan to have my next book signing at some boring, snobbish, proper and in good taste book store somewhere in northern Arizona. NOT!

If you don’t like my blogs…blow it out your snob pipe!

A Terrorist's Worst Enemy

A friend e-mailed me a very interesting article about a former Israeli secret agent named Juval Aviv. Normally I would not waste your time (or mine for that matter) on Internet gossip, but after Mr. Aviv predicted several terrorist attacks correctly, I believe his credibility is grounds for reading the article. He is now working as a security consultant for the U.S. Congress.

After reading the piece, I came away with the conviction that we are crazy if we think our government can protect us against terrorists. Take charge of you and your loved ones' security. Don't wait for the government to play the reactionary game. Be proactive with the safety of your children, grandchildren and loved ones. Aware Americans are the terrorists' worst enemy, not ineffective government security!

Click on the link below and make your own conclusions….

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Advice from an Israeli Agent

Growing Old is Mandatory

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive body with skin like a baby’s butt, but rather to skid in sideways, smiling and laughing the whole way, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, what a ride!"

My road to becoming an author spans decades, with most of those years in the construction industry. Two years ago, I decided to take my writing abilities seriously and create a novel. At first, I thought about writing science fiction, but intuition dictated murder mysteries. Thus, Evil in the Mirror and Day Stalker were born.

How about identical twins killing off hippies in Tucson, Arizona? After all, I am an identical twin and we were born in Tucson. Since I had firsthand knowledge of twins, location and murder had been presented in the news media since before I was born, research would be a snap. I found writing both books invigorating, exciting and intoxicating. While my passion for construction had waned, my new passion for writing far surpassed anything I had experienced in the past.

While my body may have been beat up from construction and living the dirt bag carpenter life with large quantities of booze and nightlife, my mind stayed sharp and inquisitive. Thank God I never got involved with hard drugs or I wouldn’t have a mind to whip into shape for authoring.

You see, when I skid into the grave, I want to have used up my mind along with my body. What good is an unused brain? I plan to keep writing until that last moment of life. In fact, someone is going to have to pry my fingers off my laptop!

Write on,

Mittster

Day Two

You would think after yesterday I would sink into retirement oblivion never to be seen by the eyes of younger construction workers ever again. Holy crap, the first two hours of pulling toilets and sinks out of a timeshare renovation were excruciating. Every muscle in my body hurt and all the bruises from lying under bathroom cabinets unhooking plumbing lines looked like I was hit by a train. You don’t even want to know about carrying toilets down two flights of stairs with the seats banging against my forearms that now look like freshly ground hamburger.

The amazing part was that, after the first two hours, I started feeling better and decided not to jump off the balcony in frustration. By lunch time, I was chatting with my co-workers and eating baloney sandwiches with relish. Age came up in the conversation, and one worker proudly announced he was sixty-four and undoubtedly the oldest guy on the crew. “No so fast,” I exclaimed. “You are now the second oldest guy on the crew!” I fear my announcement deflated him greatly. Is it my fault I don’t look sixty-eight?

We finished the job early and headed to the shop. I was proud to have made it my first day without having a heart attack or getting hurt. After unloading tools at the shop, I was anxious to get home and take a hot shower. My wife nursed me and told me how proud she was of her hard-working man. Her real concern was why I had not called her during the day. She said she wasn’t worried, but I could tell she was. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that if I had called, I would have begged her to let me come home because I couldn’t handle physical work anymore. Had that happened, neither one of us would have been proud….

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Off To Work I Go

Well, today is the day I go back to work in construction. I was laid off February of 2009 and it has taken me this long to find a job again. Although be it part-time, I am thankful for the opportunity to prove that older than dirt folks can still work.

OK, even though I am not back in supervision, being a plumber's helper isn't that bad. Besides, I learned long ago that the trick to being a plumber was to know that liquid goes downhill and don't lick your fingers! Who knows, maybe this will turn out to be full time and I can be a real plumber.

If the last two years have taught me anything, it's that unemployment does suck, but buys food for the table, and being a successful author is a very tough nut to crack. I'm not giving up, but while I am writing my third murder mystery, part-time work will help pay the bills.

I am one of the lucky ones. Construction is still DOA and many, many people are out of work. I hope the economy recovers soon and everyone who wants to work will have jobs. It’s the American way!

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Snow on Them Thar Hills

Our last day in Quartzsite, Arizona, dawned with bright, warm sunshine. The doves and quail waited impatiently for their morning seed as I hurried to the shed for their food. Today (Friday) would be hot enough for short sleeve shirts, and I was looking forward to spending some time with friends before heading home Saturday morning.

Sandy and I spent some of the day shopping for upcoming birthdays and then we ate leftover pizza from Silly Al's and scrumptious cream cheese and olive dip I had made the day before. I also managed to dig a fire pit and build some simple benches out of scrap logs. After the benches were complete, we sat and talked with our friends Lynne and Maurie in the glorious warm sun. The plan was to build a fire our last night in Quartzsite, but, as usual, I fell asleep before dark while watching Seinfeld. No problem, Lynne and Maurie will enjoy a fire during their stay.

Saturday's sunrise again was warm and inviting. Wouldn't you just know the weather would be perfect when it's time to head home! Oh, well, we had a great time and even though we hated to leave, we said goodbye to our friends and headed north for Camp Verde.

The trip was uneventful until we reached Copper Canyon on Interstate 17. "What the hell is that white stuff on the side of the mountain?" I asked my wife. "It's snow, you idiot," she responded. As we reached the summit and headed down into the Verde Valley, snow could be seen on all the surrounding mountains and especially on the San Francisco Peaks. Even though the sun was bright, the air was cold, and it was obvious that while we were away the weather must have been very nasty indeed.

While wearing coats and gloves to unload the truck, Sandy and I were shivering while day-dreaming of the warm lower desert. After all the work of unloading was finished, we settled in our king size bed with our dogs and watched football. I looked at my wonderful wife thinking, It doesn't get any better than this. I was reminded once again that there is no place like home.

I'm just saying,

Mittster

Here's The Deal

Our friends Lynne and Maurie are visiting Quartzsite, Arizona, from northern California for a month. They park their motor home on our lot with two wonderful dogs that never tire of chasing tennis balls. We met them last year for the first time and discovered that they were a delightful couple and looked forward to seeing them again this year. It’s not often you meet people who are intelligent, funny, and a bit quirky all at the same time in the right proportions.

Last year, Lynne ordered my book, Evil in the Mirror, after they had returned to California. Her report back to us was that she liked it very much. She then gave the book to Maurie, who isn't usually much of a reader, but he proceeded to read it too. Lynne again reported back to us that Maurie also liked the book. Well, when they arrived for their month-long visit this year, Maurie started praising the book beyond my wildest expectations. It was obvious from our conversations that they both had read the book and retained its contents. They remembered things I had forgotten!

Here’s the deal; as an author there is nothing better than praise and accolades concerning your work. It’s the fuel that keeps you writing when insecurity and doubt take the steam out of your sails. Praise coming from people like Lynne and Maurie only confirms to me that my passion for writing is not wasted or misguided. They both can hardly wait for the sequel, Day Stalker. I was hoping to have a copy for them, but I am still waiting for delivery. That’s OK though; I am sure when we come back here the end of the month we will have the book in hand.

Did I mention we have to go back home today? Damn, about the time things get really fun in Quartzsite, we have to go home. Oh, well, no worries; we will be back for a week soon and I will get to sign another book for our friends Lynne and Maurie. Life is good….

Write on,

Mittster

Old is Gold

Yesterday, as I was walking among other retired folks in Quartzsite, Arizona, looking at the many items for sale at vendors’ tents, I spied a young couple, surely in their forties, maybe even younger, shopping. I instantly raised the alarm and all of the old farts within earshot looked in the direction of the young couple.

At first there were only murmurs. What the hell are they doing here? This cannot be tolerated! Then one voice rang out loud and clear, “Get a rope!” That was it; the young couple bolted and ran toward the parking lot.

They easily reached their motor home ahead of us and locked themselves inside. As we surrounded the motor home, someone yelled, “Let’s tip it over!” The scene had turned really ugly. As the young couple drove slowly out of the lot, trying not to run over anyone, the cries of pain from pulled backs, knees, groins and shoulders could be heard throughout the land, as most of us lay squirming in the dirt after our futile attack.

The ones still standing threw rocks at the departing motor home, but because they were unable to lift large rocks, the small stones just bounced off doing little harm. I could hear laughter coming from the young couple. The bastards were laughing at us! “He who laughs first will surely not laugh last. Let’s get ‘em,” I yelled to the three still standing.

We rushed slowly to our quads, mounted, and then raced off in the direction of the retreating motor home. The young couple turned right on highway 95 and headed for Yuma with the four of us right on their tail. It was then I realized I had to pee. Damn, I said to myself as I pulled off the road. The rest followed me; it seemed we all had to pee.

As we huddled around a mesquite tree peeing and cussing out the young couple’s motor home, which was disappearing beyond the horizon, an Arizona Highway Patrol car skidded to a stop, the officer got out and ordered us to stop peeing. It was obvious he wasn’t an old fart or he would have known we couldn’t stop until completion!

I called my wife from the Justice of the Peace office after I had paid the fine for indecent exposure and told her I would be home soon. She said, “How was the shopping, dear?” I answered, “Fine, darling, same old, same old.”

Write on,

Mittster

A Sign of the Times

Is it just I, or is our great nation learning to live negative and fearful lifestyles? Even during the darkest hours of WWII, the United States of America was positive, optimistic and proud. What happened to the power of positive thinking and living? What happened to the ability of being grateful for what we have today instead of worrying about what we might lose tomorrow? How many of us are living in fear, waiting for some great catalyst to wipe us off the face of the earth, while, instead, we should be living each minute of every day in joy and celebration that we are alive with a roof over our head and food on the table?

I know it’s easy to blame the negative news reports we are bombarded with daily. It’s even easier to blame all the crap we read and see on the Internet. The world is doomed December 2012. The Mayans predicted it; therefore it is truth. Since when did we start believing in cultures that sacrificed men, women and children to a multitude of gods who were carved from stone? So the Mayans ended their calendar cycle in 2012; I ended mine when I reached the age of fifty, but here I am still alive and grateful.

I remember being taught to think of the future and not live in the present. Well, I have news for you…today is really all we have, so you better live it to the fullest. I plan on celebrating my life and times with joy and happiness, while staying positive no matter what the news. Even in the worst of times, life is precious and unique. I can see, hear, smell and feel the wondrous world around me, but best of all, I can imagine and dream of worlds beyond the senses.

Let us remember that the universe we live in is all about change and that we humans might not be included in that change. That’s where faith comes into play. My faith enables me to know that when I leave this beautiful blue planet, I will go on in the spirit of Devine Love. That fact is the strength behind my positive attitude. But it matters not where your positive attitude comes from, as long as you have one. Without it, you are surely going to be living in a dark, fearful and scary place.

I say it’s time to stand up, dust yourself off, and join me in being a positive and loving person. How can you recognize the positive people? We are the ones with the smiles on our faces!

Write on,

Mittster

Naked Paul

I am sure there have been numerous articles written about the owner of the Readers Oasis Bookstore in Quartzsite, Arizona. I figure one more won’t hurt anyone, except maybe their eyes.

I do have some measure of respect for any man who thinks everyone on the planet should admire his manhood when he is young and virile. It’s a man thing to do so. I draw the line though when men (and women) reach a certain age. Paul and I have reached that age, ages ago.

I am wondering what possesses someone in the public eye (pun intended) to seek nakedness in their place of business?
By Jove, I think I have the answer! You can’t check out Quartzsite, Arizona, on line without seeing Paul’s sack staring up at you on every page (God forbid). His image is everywhere on the Web whether you like it or not. Duh, advertizing is his motivation and it works very well.

Now let me see; I will be selling my books at his store site this weekend. He will be practically naked; therefore I should be practically naked. That’s it; I will steal his formula for success!

I’ve got so many details to work out. Where will I find a sack and what color; do I wear body makeup, should I make sure my butt hairs are trimmed? Crap (pun intended), I need to check the weather reports, I may need a furlined sack....

I’m just saying,

Mittster

I came, I saw, It conquered!

Well, the stairs and landing are completed for the motor home here in Quartzsite. I even managed to install the brass headboard for the handrail. While the project looks good, the Mittster, I fear, does not. In other words, the job kicked my booty for sure.

I haven’t had my tool belt on in ages and in the meantime, I have aged too (no kidding, Dick Tracy). The skill saw felt like it weighed 100 lbs. and after a short while the hammer did too! How can someone forget how to use a framing square after being a carpenter since caveman times? What happened to the measure twice cut once rule? I managed to totally screw up an eight foot, two by twelve. By the way, did I mention prices at the local hardware store are outrageous? I might add that also includes the two by twelve.

We do have pictures of the whole operation, but unfortunately, I forgot the camera USB cord. Maybe it’s just as well; I was pretty cranky by the time wifey started taking them. I will post them on a later blog so that the multitudes who read my blogs (sixteen now; I lost one reader last week) can see them.

There is a big storm heading this way today from California. Normally that would be bad news in the sunny lower desert, but I am on my hands and knees thanking God. There is no way I can work outside for a couple of days because of rain, which is the exact time I need to heal my broken, hurting back. I guess I will just have to relax, watch TV, eat pizza and vegetate. Oh, wait a minute…crap, I have to finish writing tomorrow’s blog, work on The Phoenix Code, continue reading the epic 1001 Ways to Market Your Books, and visit naked Paul at the Oasis Book Store to arrange for a spot to sell my book Evil in the Mirror this weekend.

There is no rest for the wicked murder mystery writer this trip to Quartzsite, Arizona. Who am I kidding, no one feels sorry for me anyway. Everyone should have it this bad!

Write on,

Mittster

Elusive Recognition

If you click on the title of this blog you will find a very interesting article by Leslie L. Sanders. Leslie has some great ideas how to gain recognition as an author. It's well worth reading.

I certainly can relate to my newbie brother and sister authors out there. The road to recognition is long and perilous. Trying to find help on the Internet is akin to wildebeest crossing an African river during migration. The crocs are hiding and just waiting to pounce! During my first year out as an aspiring author, I got pounced on more than once. Unlike the wildebeest though, I came out unscathed except for an empty wallet and savaged pride.

Except for your Print On Demand partner, if it costs money, run like hell in the opposite direction. And, when it comes to a POD partner, you better make sure you do your homework before committing your manuscript and money. I personally recommend Wheatmark, Inc., mainly because I did my homework and Wheatmark delivered by publishing my first murder mystery. They are also publishing my sequel as you read this blog.

My second year as a published author has been spent establishing my author’s credibility, finishing my sequel, along with starting my third murder mystery. Oh, did I tell you the second year is tougher than the first? Sorry about that. No one said it would be easy, and if they did, they either gave you bogus information because they didn’t really know, or just wanted your money. I’d be betting on the latter.

You have to give yourself at least five years of promoting, building credibility, pressing the flesh (as the politicians would say), and keeping the wolf from the door. While you are doing all of that, you need to keep writing works that are unique, fascinating and page turners.

Now enter the real challenge. Are you over-the-top passionate about what you write? If you are and family and friends are clamoring for more, continue to write. Don’t quit your day job, and dig in for a five-year uphill adventure. If you are not super passionate about your work and no one seems interested, don’t shoot a dead cow. Find something you can be passionate about and go forth onto a different path.

If you are now insulted and indignant, it’s time to take that other path. Of course you wouldn’t have read the last sentence anyway because you would have already gone to another site that is telling you how simple it is to write and publish a book. Come on in, partner, big bucks and fame are just a few short months away! Good luck, Charlie, you are about to be removed from your hard-earned money.

There is no magic formula for writing success, but here is the formula I use:

Passion + Commitment + Perseverance + Unique Books = Success

There is still no guarantee you will ever make money writing, but with the formula above, at least you have a fighting chance.

Write on,

Mittster

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

About the time I think things can't get any worse, I read about someone who fights and claws their way out of total dispair and hopelessness, having beat the odds and come out a winner.

My problems now seem small and insignificant. I pick myself up, dust myself off and get on with the hand I was dealt, with pride and conviction! Life is indeed as good as you make it....

Desert Rats and That's That!

Well, it’s getting close to that time of the year when we again migrate to Quartzsite, Arizona, along with over 50,000 other trailer and motor home trash, for the winter.

This year will be different in the sense that this time we will be selling copies of my murder mystery novel, Evil in the Mirror. I'm thinking instead of spending money at a zillion vendors' tents, it's time for a little payback.

We know from experience that most of the hordes that land in Quartzsite are retired folks who love to read. So, the first thing we need to do is donate my book to the local library, and then set up a table selling the books at the Senior Citizen's Center, which happens to be within walking distance of our lot and motor home.

Yes, we have planned it right down to the last detail—including, but not limited to, buying high and selling low, which has been our formula for making extra money in the past. Which explains why we have no extra money. It will be different this time, we are not going to give in to the temptations of the past. Can we go home with more money than we arrived with this time? Probably not, but, damn, we’ll have a good time!

Write on,

Mittster

Day Stalker book cover?

We are working on a cover for my newest murder mystery, Day Stalker. One idea floating around is the cover shown, but we would like to see the blue gone and only a white background. We also think A Murder Mystery should be under the title for promotional purposes. What do you think?

The person who comes up with the best cover design will be given a free signed copy of the book, and you will also be mentioned in the credits. That and a buck will get you a cup of coffee, but it's the best I can do. After all, I am still classified as an unkown author, and Oprah hasn't called.

Wheatmark Publishing is working on a cover design, but I thought it might be fun to have one of my fans maybe get the credit instead. Why not, you are the folks who are buying the books!

I'm just saying,

Mittster

Two Down And Three To Go

My newest murder mystery, Day Stalker, is finished! The contract with Wheatmark Publishing is signed and now starts the publishing process. We are working on a cover design and hopefully it will be completed before the Sedona Book Festival so folks can see it.

Writing the sequel to Evil in the Mirror was so exciting. I cannot describe the thrill that engulfs me as I put together a fast-paced murder mystery. Each chapter is a scene in which I become the characters, good or bad. I literally live the story and by the time it is finished, I sit, worn out and exhausted, glad the evil antagonist has been brought to justice.

My goal is to write five books in a series with the same detectives struggling to catch the bad guys and save the innocent maidens. Oh, what fun it is...I am so lucky to be an author!

Write on,

Mittster

Colorado High

Remember John Denver? I happened to hear Colorado Rocky Mountain High the other day and frankly, it blew me away. I was such a fan in the '70s and '80s, but his music faded in the flurry of my busy life. His music didn't seem relevant in the hustle and bustle of the '90s.

His passing in 1997 had little impact on me at the time. I did pause to reflect on a fabulous concert he did in Tucson, Arizona, that I attended. Thank, God, I did. It was the last time I saw him in person. While his band took a break, John continued playing his twelve string guitar and singing his own songs with passion and honesty rarely seen anymore. He didn't need stage props, makeup or pyrotechnics.

I spent many summers in Aspen, Colorado, working construction. You could always find me after work and on weekends, sitting outside on a bench, playing my guitar, and imitating John Denver, rather badly I might add. His music blended perfectly with the tall aspen tress swaying in the wind while mighty pines whistled soft, fragrant background music. I can still smell the fresh air laced with the smell of wild flowers and green grass. The sky was so blue it took my breath away.

Sundays in Aspen were always exciting. Softball games were a tradition in Colorado mining towns. After spending brutal winters working the mines, a summer baseball game was pure heaven on earth for the miners. Modern Aspen still keeps the tradition going and John would play softball when he was in town right alongside bartenders, shop owners, construction workers, city workers, and just about everyone else in town. He would drive his Jeep down from his house in Snowmass and join in the fun. Always a gentleman and always just one of the guys.

I am truly missing him today. I really don't know why, except that maybe my own mortality is causing me to reflect on good times gone by. They are not lost as long as I can reminisce and still hear the honest, reflective and passionate music of musicians and songwriters like John Denver.

I'm just saying,

Mittster

The Case for Brevity

I recently received the following e-mail from someone who read my murder mystery Evil in the Mirror:

"Mitt, sorry this took so long. I wanted to say, "OH, MY GOD", your book drove me nuts. I am the hunting and fishing mag. or book kind of guy, even real history, but this son of a pup kept me jumping. NO SHIT!

"At first the sex parts were a little weird to me, but when I got to Chapter 30 I couldn't put your book down. The Cards were even playing a football game and I didn't give a hoot. The thing I liked is the short chapters. I would normally fall sleep or have to run and I would lose my train of thought. Anyway, it is my first ever murder mystery, and like you said; you know who the bad guys are from the very beginning.

"Jeri just read it this weekend and told me to settle down. She said she has read many books that had more smut than I could imagine. So, HA HA, that means we have a good long future yet to come. She also loved the book and could not put it down.

"Toni also read it and said the same. She freaked about the types of murders but still loved the book. She didn’t put it down until it was finished.

"I have taken a picture of the book and put it on my computer. I sent it to many friends in Alaska, Washington, Old Mexico, Florida, and many more. One bud e-mailed me back and said they had read it and loved it. COOL!

"I'm out of room and gotta go.

Dale"


When writing Evil in the Mirror, I pictured each chapter like staccato notes being played by an orchestra. Sharp, short notes that were loud, but not deafening. Kind of like the Surprise Symphony No. 94 by Haydn.

I also wanted to keep the book short, focused, to the point, and exciting to read. Some said it was too short to be a real novel, while others said the chapters needed to be longer. I maintained my focus and continued writing until the story was finished. No more, no less.

You can't judge a book by its size any more that you can judge the cost by its weight. I am proud of all the reviews that have been posted for Evil in the Mirror. I am also proud of the fact that I maintained my integrity and intuition concerning this book. You can bet the sequel, Day Stalker, will be maintained the same way.

Write on,

Mittster

Rules is Rules

I just can't help but compare Rules is Rules to the Democratic party. The President and his team will not move the train off the burning trestle! Doing so would be admitting failure and as we all know, only the Republican party makes mistakes.

The Good news:
It was a normal day in Sharon Springs, Kansas , when a Union Pacific crew boarded a loaded coal train for the long trek to Salina .

The Bad news:
Just a few miles into the trip a wheel bearing became overheated and melted, letting a metal support drop down and grind on the rail, creating white hot molten metal droppings spewing down to the rail.

The Good news:
A very alert crew noticed smoke about halfway back in the train and immediately stopped the train in compliance with the rules.

The Bad news:
The train stopped with the hot wheel over a wooden bridge with creosote ties and trusses.

The crew tried to explain this to Union Pacific higher-ups but were instructed not to move the train!

They were informed that Rules prohibited moving the train when a part was found to be defective!

REMEMBER, RULES IS RULES! (Don't ever let common sense get in the way of a good disaster ! )


I'm just saying,

Mittster

The Power of PJs

Sunday, my wife and I drove over to her mother's
house to deliver some homemade cinnamon rolls for Mum's breakfast.

Rather than get out of our pjs, wifey thought it would be funny just to wear our long nightshirts. After all it was Sunday before a holiday and there would be no one out and about at seven a.m., right? Wrong!

As we drove into the driveway, a new neighbor was doing yard work next door and she stopped working when she saw us get out of the car. Mum came out of her front door at the same time. My comment was, "I knew we shouldn't have worn our pjs to your mother's!"

Of course, the neighbor walked toward us smiling and introducing herself to the two idiots in sleep shirts and a mother-in-law who hadn't combed her hair yet, as we apologized profusely for being dressed like clowns.

As it turned out, the neighbor Debbi told us she often retreated into her fenced backyard in a halter top and worn out shorts and that we were not to worry about the way we were dressed. Personally, I thought being half dressed in a fenced backyard was a far cry from standing in front of a whole neighborhood full of open windows wearing old, faded sleep shirts.

Wifey invited Debbi into the house and we all sat in the living room reminiscing. It turns out Debbi was a school marm from Michigan, but now teaches at the elementary school in Camp Verde. My wife and her mother are also from Michigan. It was like old home week!

Of course, the subject of my murder mystery, Evil in the Mirror, came up because I am forever trying to sell the novel to anyone who will sit still long enough. One thing led to another and I now have been invited to speak in front of Debbi's third grade class about writing novels. We also left a copy of the book for Debbi to keep and review. A good review from an educator on Amazon would be a very good thing indeed.

Wait a minute...seems to me when I was in the third grade, we played with mud pies and recited parts of Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater. These kids are learning about being an author in the third grade? What if they are smarter than I am? Oh, crap...what have I gotten myself into?

I'm just saying,

Mittster