Alien Manifesto

I have known from the very beginning that my identical twin brother and I are not of this world. Our minds are connected and nothing escapes our attention when it comes to knowing what we are thinking even though we might be miles apart.

I am surprised the Feds haven’t rounded up all the identical twins in America and deported us to Egypt. It is obvious we are a threat to National Security. After all, if we (identical twins) united, there is no doubt that we could take over the planet.

OK, here is the skinny. We were originally from the planet Zarg in the constellation of Orion.




Embryos of our species were implanted into Neanderthals 10,000 years ago by robotic starships disguised as apples. Neanderthal women would pick and eat the apples and “walla” identical twins would be born. It didn’t take long for the Neanderthal men to realize eating the apples was a woman thing. It was actually great because it left more meat for the men.




It took hundreds of years for the twins to mate with only twins, thus ridding the population of Neanderthal traits completely. As our species spread over the planet, we eventually settled in Egypt.






The first twin rulers of Egypt

It was there that we learned of our true identity. Our 5000 year history of being the most advanced civilization the world had ever known was cut short because of one flaw in our plan to take over the world. The Mesopotamians started eating apples too. Who could have known that our ancestors seeded too many apple machines and the whole world started eating them. Now there were identical twins everywhere and they had no clue as to their real origins.




My brother and I alone know the truth, and we are about to spread the news via the Internet that will unite the identical twins of the world. What better time to strike than while our government prepares for a general election? They will be so engrossed with trying to win that no one will see us coming. Once we have taken over America, we will use a far superior military to take over the world.




My brother and I will rule the world until our deaths. Only identical twins will rule from that time forward. The new class of rulers will be as follows. Identical twins shall be the chosen ones, while paternal twins will run everyday government functions. Non-twins shall be worker bees and do all the physical chores like changing diapers and raking up leaves.



King Mittster



King Waltster

While we are not tyrants, tomfoolery shall not be tolerated. Remember non-twins, we can squash you like bugs with our superior intellect. Our goal is to govern without greed, dishonesty, lies or deceit. We won’t have to resort to any of the above-mentioned traits that permeated our governments of the past because we will live in the lap of luxury right out front, just like the past rulers of Egypt. We will rise again and rule for thousands of years or until the end of the Mayan calendar, in which case our rule will be short – very short.




For those of you who have read this manifesto up to this point, it proves that you are just as nuts as the nut case who wrote the stupid thing in the first place. It’s nice to know that I am not alone in my craziness. Welcome to the “you have to be crazy to keep from going insane” world of the Mittster!

Write on

How do you really spell God?

I was watching several programs last night about mammals that live on Madagascar Island and the Jewish Exodus from ancient Egypt. You might ask what these two subjects have in common. That is exactly what piqued my interest.

I am always watching science and nature programs, and the way my mind works is to try and fit what I am learning in with the world that I live in right now. What implications do these programs have concerning our future on Earth? What is the truth about religion? How can I reconcile the material world with the spiritual realm? Is there really a God that is described in the Bible? Is the Old Testament a lesson in history or just made up history from not so perfect humans. The list is endless, but my curiosity won’t let up, and I keep watching the programs. Sometimes more than once; after all, I may have missed something the first time.

As a murder mystery writer, it is a foregone conclusion that I like mysteries. Moreover, I like solving mysteries; therein lies the fun. So, back to the question at hand; what do the Exodus and Madagascar mammals have in common?

The mammals of Madagascar live in peace and harmony with the land and environment. In fact, there are three species of Lemurs that live in the same trees but eat different parts so as not to compete with each other for food. Now that is smart living. I would bet our prehistoric ancestors also lived smart. Otherwise we would have perished as a species long ago. Of course, you would have to believe in evolution as the origin of the human species and that is in direct conflict with the Bible’s Old Testament.

Last night’s program on the flight of the Jewish people from Egypt was indeed interesting. I too believed in Hollywood’s version that Moses was really named Charlton Heston and the evil Egyptian Pharaoh, Ramses II, was really named Yul Brynner. As it turns out, Hollywood had it all wrong. Who would have guessed? I thought the program had valid points, and that the Exodus probably happened, but not like Bible history describes. I still don’t know if the program was intended to make Bible believers out of us or just trying to set the record straight. Good luck on that one. Historians are still trying to make us believe that Columbus discovered America.

So where did modern humans really come from? If you believe in the Old Testament, we were made from clay and a rib by the hands of God. OK, that one is just too “Hollywood” for me to swallow. How about we descended from the apes through millions of years of evolution? It does make more sense than the first explanation, but where did spirituality come into our consciousness? Now there is the crux of the investigation. Sometime during those millions of years of evolution spirituality was born, and that was the birth of spiritual man. Well, I’ll be dipped; does that mean that God is really spiritual and we were made in image and likeness of spirit? Could it be that ancient man had it all wrong because the concept of being a spiritual being having a human experience could not be comprehended? Bingo – we are indeed spiritual beings and God is not flesh and bones!

Of course, this explanation will piss off some religious groups big time. For that I am truly sorry because everyone has the right to practice their own religion in this country. My investigation was twofold: 1 – Does physical man have a future on this planet? Answer – Not if we can’t learn to be at one with Mother Earth. 2 – Does spiritual man have a future not only on this planet but throughout the universe? Answer – yes, as long as we believe in our spiritual nature.

There you have it in a nutshell. For those of you who were able to read this whole blog, I thank you. For those of you who dropped out somewhere in between, I don’t blame you.

I’m just saying,

Mittster