Addicted to Blogs

"Help me, help me, somebody help me," said the half human, half fly, to the spider. For those of you that have seen the original movie, The Fly, perhaps you can understand my addiction to blogging. Brother, I need help to keep from getting consumed by the nasty blogger spider.

When I get up at three a.m. in the morning, all I can think about is reading my e-mails, while savoring the thought of going to Blogspot.com. It’s the chocolate of computer land; more, more, I want more. The blogging monkey is on my back a rockin' and a rollin'. Sweet Chuck Berry, I am feeling good while making rim shots with my computer keys!

I tell myself that blogging is necessary to keep in shape for writing novels. “Write everyday, Mittster, it keep the juices flowing.” The problem is that I am spending less time writing murder mysteries and way too much time blogging. As a matter of fact, I have written so many blogs that they constitute a novel in their own right.

Wait, hold the presses – I have an idea; why not compile all the blogs into a book? What a concept; all along I have been writing another book and didn’t even realize it. “There, Mittster, I told you that blogging was the way to go,” said the spider in my brain. “Bon appétit," I say back to the spider.

Write on,

Mittster

Retirement

I finally figured out what retirement is really about. You see when I was a young stud construction worker, not married, no kids, no responsibilities, and lots of cash, I thought life was so good. But, I started to feel guilty about multiple girlfriends, having fun, wild nights and not being in debt. My mother, God rest her soul, was constantly nagging at me to settle down and get married. My life was one Seinfeld show after another.

One day, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to follow my mother’s advice. There was no way for me to know that misery loves company and that married couples were all envious of single people and wanted singles to share in their misery. That’s why mothers and married folks are always nagging at singles to get married.

Well, I got married and joined the “happily married set.” Now, I’m not putting down marriage; my wife is the best in the west! What I wasn’t prepared for was going into debt because of children and many other responsibilities. So started my construction career with one goal in sight - work for forty some odd years, retire, and then do all the things I couldn’t do before because we couldn’t afford the expense. Of course, my wife had a more realistic vision of retirement. I know now why she didn’t share her views with me.

During my career, I was always envious of people with motor homes. Man, that was the way to travel while towing your car behind for transpo when you got to your destination. While we both still worked, we got that motor home and soon learned it was a money pit. I didn’t know they only got ten miles per gallon and that an oil change cost two hundred bucks! The older I got the more I realized it was really hard work just packing and unpacking the beast. After ten years and four motor homes later, you can find it permanently parked in Quartzsite, Arizona. We can’t sell it or afford to drive it, so it has become a winter home away from home - exactly what we like at this point!

All the things I thought I wanted to do in retirement were only realistic for a younger man. Hang gliding? Not!…surfing? Not!…scuba? Not!…Harleys forever? Not!…marathon? Hell not!…etc, etc, etc….I find myself wanting to spend quiet time with my wife and pets, or walking and riding our bikes. I like shopping to save money with coupons. Who would have ever thought that could be fun? The real fun things do not cost a lot of money. The studley Mittster is gone forever and a more gentle, caring and thoughtful person has surfaced. I like this person and what I see in the mirror. For the first time in my life, I see the real me. Getting older is like fine wine and I like the taste.


There is still some fire left in the old engine occasionally, and I can say with conviction, if you don’t like what you see, don’t look. The best part is that the youngsters who think older folks are worthless are heading to our place in time like a runaway freight train!

I’m just saying,

Mittster

If Discouragement Were Money

If being discouraged were money, I could have retired years ago. That is to say, it is very discouraging being an unknown author after working hard for two years and finding my murder mystery, Evil in the Mirror, 1,300,000 from being number one on Amazon. If that statistic doesn’t discourage you, nothing will.

Well, stand back, World, because I will not be discouraged or otherwise beat up by numbers. I knew going in that the process would take five years at the least. I still have three to go before discouragement can set in and not even then will I let it happen!

It’s OK to have a moment of discouragement occasionally, but then it needs to be replaced immediately with positive energy and perseverance. I am the “terminator” of authors. I will never stop, waver or quit. I write; that is what I do, that is all I do, and nothing can stop me. When I die, my laptop is going with me….

This message of encouragement is not just for me, it is also for every newbie author out there, but especially for my friend Candace Bowser, who I know gets tired and discouraged. We are all in this together, my friend, and I say, “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with being an author!”

Actually, 1,300,000 isn’t all that bad when you consider how many books are published every year worldwide. Wait a minute, hold on; I just brought up Amazon on my laptop. Holy smokers, my book just went to 1,298,000. Life is good!

Write on,

Mittster

I Hate Football

Three things I should never do: go to a casino, pick a line in the grocery store, or pick a team to win the Super Bowl (or any football game for that matter). Last night I again demonstrated my ability to pick the losing team while making fun of my wife and kids every time the Steelers made a good play.

The two first quarter touchdowns by the Packers should have been a warning, but I had watched the Steelers win important games after big first half deficits before. What, me worry? After watching the Packers lose three star defensive players to injuries, I just knew the game was in the bag.

It was at this point that I put my thumbs up and pretended they were little people talking to each other while attending the game. Lefty spoke first, “Oh, look, Righty, our team just made a touchdown.” Righty responded, “Looks like wifey's team is losing big time!” Then they both said in unison, “Nana, nana, na na, nana, nana, na, na. You are going lose, you are going to lose.” I patterned the skit after the TV show South Park.

I continued this little skit until the fourth quarter and time was running out for my team. My little guys hung their heads in shame and slunk out of the stadium, never to be seen by the eyes of man again. I became silent as the Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl. I was now ready for the texting to start that would make my humiliation complete. My wife just looked at me, smiled and said, “You are such an idiot.”

That I am…that I am,

Mittster

Love Life!

Yesterday was an excellent day. My wife, Sandy, and I met Leslie and Hoppy Menninger at Harry’s Hideaway Restaurant in Cornville, Arizona. We were celebrating the release of my newest murder mystery, Day Stalker, and we wanted to present Leslie a signed copy of the book. She had worked hard to make the book presentable for publication and we wanted to show our appreciation.

While we were sitting at our table waiting for our friends, my wife moved closer and whispered how much she loved me. A simple thing but monumental to me; it’s the spontaneous things in life that are exciting. I don’t think there is anything more wonderful than knowing someone loves you with all their heart. There is no doubt that Sandy loves me that way. She would have to, because my faults are many and she is a saint compared to me. I thank God up above for leading me to the most wonderful woman in the universe. February 21 will mark our sixteenth year of marriage and what a wonderful sixteen years they have been!

We had a fabulous lunch while joking with each other and laughing between mouthfuls of scrumptious food. It was obvious that dessert would be the straw that broke the camel’s back, but we didn’t care and dove into the sweet stuff with forks and enthusiasm. By the time we left the restaurant, the four of us were stuffed beyond hope and headed for our respective homes for TV and naps. Of course, my wife finished up the laundry while I dosed watching TV. That’s just the kind of person she is….

Yes, life is good, even in hard times and an uncertain world. I plan to turn every day into a microcosm of events that make my life last for an eternity every twenty-four hours, while not worrying about the end of life. The end will be a complete surprise and I will have the last laugh.

Write on,

Mittster