Dolt Book-Writing Course

I really don't like the idiot's guide to this or that. Not because it is demeaning and politically incorrect, but rather because it's too far to the left to describe me. Dolt fits me rather nicely. Although, I do have some pride; it's Mr. Dolt to you!

Since today's blog is a book-writing course, I will get on with it.

A. Screw what anyone has ever told you about writing. You can write and be a dolt at the same time.

B. If I can write a novel, even Alfred E. Newman can write one.

C. Author newbies can't make any money writing. This is true, but in today's economy, you can't make any money anyway. At least you can be creative while eating peanut butter and jelly sammies.

D. There are no conventional publishers that will take on your book. This is also true, but you can sell what gold jewelery you have left and hire a POD (Publish on Demand) publisher.

E. If you are passionate about your desire to write a book, the book will magically appear on Amazon.com. This is false, but if you work half as hard writing your book as you did trying to figuring out reasons why you can't write, it will appear on Amazon.com and your pride level will top out in the stratosphere.

F. Your book idea will be so good that other people will promote it. False again; you will be promoting your books until you leave the planet. Writing and promoting are your job, but not to worry, both are fun, especailly when you sign your first book for your first customer!

G. How do I actually start writing a book? It's easy; write one word, then two, then a sentence. Sit back and read your first sentence. Write other sentences until you have a paragraph. Sit back and read your first paragraph. Keep writing until you have a chapter. Once you have a chapter, sit back and read it. If it excites you no end, keep writing. If you fall asleep, it's all over but the crying. You have just discovered you have no passion and you need to try finger painting. Don't be too worried about mistakes. Proofing and editing can be done by others. If you have no friends to help with fine tuning your book, sell some more gold jewelery. Your going to need the money.

H. There is no way I can figure out how to copyright my book and all the other stuff I see in the pages of other books. Again, not to worry...the POD publisher will handle all the technical stuff. Great, one less reason for you to procrastinate.

I. To be continued...

Write on,

Mittster

I DARE YOU!

Apathy sucks! After finding a Website full of, I Dare You, pictures, I got stoked...man, this is what our country needs right now! I can even apply it to my life - I dare me to finish my current murder mystery, The Phoenix Code, and get cracking of my fourth book, Vectus. I also dare me to stop worrying about the things I can't control and get better control of the things I can. How about I quit sniveling while I'm at it.

What's that old saying? "When the going gets tough, the tough get going!" Well, my back's up, I am standing straight, and I am going to plow forward. If you're waiting for me to do something, you are too late. I'm out of apathy land and into positive territory. I might even homestead there!

Write on,

Mittster

My Favorite Addiction

According to the quiz that is linked to the title of this blog, I am only 19% addicted to Facebook. I thought for sure the score would be higher; I'm a little disappointed.


After deactivating my account for a total of three days so I could catch up on work, I found that during the process of writing my new murder mystery, The Phoenix Code, I would start thinking about all the wonderful friends and family I used to be in contact with on Facebook and lose my train of thought concerning the book. Crap, I was better off when I was checking out all the comments twice a day on Facebook. At least then, while I was working on my book, it was possible to concentrate.

Just to be sure I wasn't addicted, I found and took the test. OK, I'm only a little addicted. It's not like when I used to drink and could not stop at just one. This is different; I only need a Facebook fix twice a day, seven days a week. Holy cow, if that were booze, I would be totally whacked most of the time!

Well, I'm not quitting Facebook. I gave up my addictive behavior fifteen years ago when I got married. I need to have at least one addiction and Facebook will do nicely, thank you very much.

I'm just saying,

Mittster

Fly This!

There is nothing more exciting than watching Red Bull Air Racing in person and Monument Valley, Utah, was the perfect setting. The one thing that I miss the most while reminiscing about this Harley trip is the HEAT...holly crap, it's cold here in Northern Arizona!

Life Is Killing Me Slowly

I was listening to Roberta Flack sing, Killing Me Softly with His Song, this morning and it dawned on me that life was "killing me slowly with its song." I wasn't depressed with this revelation; rather, I was filled with thanks and appreciation for such a full and exciting life. Of course, I have made mistakes along the way and not just a few, but who hasn't?

It's not like I think I am going to croak tomorrow or something. Hell, I have yet begun to fight! It's just that sometimes I believe we should stop and smell the roses, like the old saying goes. I don't know about you, but life seems to be traveling about the speed of light these days, and as I get older, I feel like I'm going to break the light speed barrier at any moment.

Maybe all this melancholy is happening because my high school class reunion is coming up in May of 2011. Good grief, chief, I never expected to make it to the year 2000, let alone to my 50th class reunion! I know, as a newbie author, I am not supposed to give away my age. But, you know what? Screw the system, I have swum upstream my whole life, and I'm not going to stop now. I am what I am and that's the whole of it.

I also know that blogs are supposed to be helpful, but sometimes mine are not. I apologize for that. I can only hope that someone will read this and get the message that life is really a wonderful experience, even with the hard times and emotional roller-coaster rides.

I say go to the reunion, ignore the old folks there, and hang out with the young at heart. Might as well kick up the heels to some classic rock-and-roll and act like a teen again. We will have the rest of our lives to recover from our hurting knees and backs....

I'm just saying,

Mittster